"Lifes like an hour glass glued to the table"
I've had the song 'breathe" by anna nalick in my head all day. its so pretty.aah:). Im in the mood to ramble so here goes:
first of all. i havent yet decided why i blog..why do i do it? i have no idea. I used to think i did it to let everything out..but i dont think thats why i do it anymore. i MAKE myself blog. I make myself do it like evry 2 days. I have like this little conversation in my head and i tell myslef to do it. If i dont do it for awhile i feel like whoever is out there that is reading my blog is gonna think im dead or something and i need to let ppl know im alive. But really when you think about it, Noone reads my blog. And thats how i want it to be i guess. i dont want anyone i know reading this. not that theres anything in here that would offend them..i just like having this place to come to and vent about my life..and when im mad at my bestfriends i can come here and let it out cuz i obvisouly cant let it out to them. I dont have the passion to be a writer..i read ppls blogs and everything they write has a meaning..and they do it bcuz they love to write and its what they wanna do with their life. Thats not what i want. Although sometimes i get the urge to write something with some though behind it..and thats when i want comments. i like it when ppl comment on what i write..especially if im proud of it or i like how it turned out.
i think the only reason im scared to tell ppl about my blog is bcuz i dont want to get nasty comments. i couldnt handle that. i would feel bad about myself. bcuz im myslef here. this is me. and if i got bitched at for being myslef. i wouldnt feel too good. im just afraid i guess..
wow when i frist started this i didnt know why i blogged..and i guess i just told you^^
Ive been feeling really tired lately. probabaly cuz i dont sleep very well.. i go to bed at like 2 and get up at 9..even though i sleep till 9 it feels like i just went to bed.
i went to see my grampy today. he has cancer again. and hes in pain. but he still smiles and cracks jokes and laughs harder than ever. i love him. hes such a strong man. hes been though a lot..in and out of hospitals numerous times. the last time he went in i thought this was the end..so i got up in the middle of the night when we got the call and we rushed to the hospital..he made it out ok in the end. hes a fighter i tell you. i love him to death and after that. i know he thinks hes gona die tho. i just see it in his eyes. hes getting weaker, i noticed that today. and he asked for a hug today. i alwasy give him a hug when im leaving, no question. but today he asked..makes me wonder what hes thinking. maybe he thinks that i wouldnt see him again. i hope not. but i really dont want him to suffer. If he has to go, i want him to go in his sleep and not feel anything. i dont want him to be in pain bataling with cancer. thats just not the way it should be.
anyways i think im gonna stop here.i hope that when i re-read this it makes sense.
-<3much love
first of all. i havent yet decided why i blog..why do i do it? i have no idea. I used to think i did it to let everything out..but i dont think thats why i do it anymore. i MAKE myself blog. I make myself do it like evry 2 days. I have like this little conversation in my head and i tell myslef to do it. If i dont do it for awhile i feel like whoever is out there that is reading my blog is gonna think im dead or something and i need to let ppl know im alive. But really when you think about it, Noone reads my blog. And thats how i want it to be i guess. i dont want anyone i know reading this. not that theres anything in here that would offend them..i just like having this place to come to and vent about my life..and when im mad at my bestfriends i can come here and let it out cuz i obvisouly cant let it out to them. I dont have the passion to be a writer..i read ppls blogs and everything they write has a meaning..and they do it bcuz they love to write and its what they wanna do with their life. Thats not what i want. Although sometimes i get the urge to write something with some though behind it..and thats when i want comments. i like it when ppl comment on what i write..especially if im proud of it or i like how it turned out.
i think the only reason im scared to tell ppl about my blog is bcuz i dont want to get nasty comments. i couldnt handle that. i would feel bad about myself. bcuz im myslef here. this is me. and if i got bitched at for being myslef. i wouldnt feel too good. im just afraid i guess..
wow when i frist started this i didnt know why i blogged..and i guess i just told you^^
Ive been feeling really tired lately. probabaly cuz i dont sleep very well.. i go to bed at like 2 and get up at 9..even though i sleep till 9 it feels like i just went to bed.
i went to see my grampy today. he has cancer again. and hes in pain. but he still smiles and cracks jokes and laughs harder than ever. i love him. hes such a strong man. hes been though a lot..in and out of hospitals numerous times. the last time he went in i thought this was the end..so i got up in the middle of the night when we got the call and we rushed to the hospital..he made it out ok in the end. hes a fighter i tell you. i love him to death and after that. i know he thinks hes gona die tho. i just see it in his eyes. hes getting weaker, i noticed that today. and he asked for a hug today. i alwasy give him a hug when im leaving, no question. but today he asked..makes me wonder what hes thinking. maybe he thinks that i wouldnt see him again. i hope not. but i really dont want him to suffer. If he has to go, i want him to go in his sleep and not feel anything. i dont want him to be in pain bataling with cancer. thats just not the way it should be.
anyways i think im gonna stop here.i hope that when i re-read this it makes sense.
-<3much love
posted by .M i k a l a h. at 11:38 PM
1 Comments:
Well, I hope your grampa does well. Cancer ain't what it used to be. Lots of treatments.
The only way to get people to read your blog is to leave a shitload of comments on others' blogs.
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