whats on my mind...*long* dont read unless bored.
ok wellll i havent really posted an update on my life in a while so here goes
i love n! i just love her. shes so nice. and i feel really bad for being so bitchy to her at the first of the year cuz she was annoying me and i get annyoed really easily. but i feel rite bad cuz shes such a sweetheart and awh. do u ever feel like u hate your life? and you just wanna crawl in a hole and die! well i do! right now! cuz im such a mother fucking LIAR!!!! i hate lying! why do i do it! im such a fucking reject
soooo many people hate me! like completely hate me and i dont know what i do to them. a few ppl have reason to hate me but i havent made anyone else mad in a while. ive been trying to clean up my life.
yeah so tonight i went this RETARDED party! it was andreas bday party and it was fucking stupid. me and j left early and i think c was mad at us but what can i do..its not like i can change anything. i just didnt want to be there.
man do u wanna know what hurts the most. this is the one thing that hurts me the most. it cuts me deeep
My friend b has been distanceing hisself from me lately...like he wont sit with me in class like he usally does and he sits with other girls..im not jeloud or anything..cuz i dont like like like him like that....but hes like the BESR MOST AWESOMEST GUY EVER!!!!!! sooooo hilarious and u can talk to him about ANYTHING! and i LOVE him soo much! u dnot even understand how much i love this guy. anyways when i confronted him about not talkin to me or sittin with me anymore..he said its nothing personal but he hangs out with different people now...AND THAT HURTS ME SO MUCH
He used to hang with me everyday and now....all of a sudden he wants to hang out with "different people"...what did i do!i dont even know. I feel like everyone i love leaves me..and sometimes i just dont feel like bring here. theres just no sense...were all gonan die someday.
we have exams this week
andi just dont care
i wish i did
i used to care and now im just like bah
i really want to go somewehre in my life but i dont really think a failed exam will do much to a 96% in chemistry. so i dont care. well i do
i just like to pretend i dont
yeah im retarded
I really like this blog thing. cuz if i didnt have this i would probabaly ramble on inside my head and everything i think and know will be lost..and lately ive noticed that i forget a lot of things that i used to remember..like who i saw where and new ppl i meet...i dont remember these things anymore. i think im going insane. or maybe i just need to ranble on like this more often so that i dont forget anything.
I think im over my head this time...it might be love. K is amazing...he makes me happier than ive ever been before. im just scared of comittment..but i need to get over that and this is the time. and im scared of gettin hurt but what can you do. thats life. but im gonna be complaing about it on here and ill write some sad poems so yah haaaa u better hope that doesnt happen to quick
anyways im gonna stop trying cuz im losing track of what im feeling cuz im talkin to J online and she makes me happy so thanks for reading if you did.
bye:)
i love n! i just love her. shes so nice. and i feel really bad for being so bitchy to her at the first of the year cuz she was annoying me and i get annyoed really easily. but i feel rite bad cuz shes such a sweetheart and awh. do u ever feel like u hate your life? and you just wanna crawl in a hole and die! well i do! right now! cuz im such a mother fucking LIAR!!!! i hate lying! why do i do it! im such a fucking reject
soooo many people hate me! like completely hate me and i dont know what i do to them. a few ppl have reason to hate me but i havent made anyone else mad in a while. ive been trying to clean up my life.
yeah so tonight i went this RETARDED party! it was andreas bday party and it was fucking stupid. me and j left early and i think c was mad at us but what can i do..its not like i can change anything. i just didnt want to be there.
man do u wanna know what hurts the most. this is the one thing that hurts me the most. it cuts me deeep
My friend b has been distanceing hisself from me lately...like he wont sit with me in class like he usally does and he sits with other girls..im not jeloud or anything..cuz i dont like like like him like that....but hes like the BESR MOST AWESOMEST GUY EVER!!!!!! sooooo hilarious and u can talk to him about ANYTHING! and i LOVE him soo much! u dnot even understand how much i love this guy. anyways when i confronted him about not talkin to me or sittin with me anymore..he said its nothing personal but he hangs out with different people now...AND THAT HURTS ME SO MUCH
He used to hang with me everyday and now....all of a sudden he wants to hang out with "different people"...what did i do!i dont even know. I feel like everyone i love leaves me..and sometimes i just dont feel like bring here. theres just no sense...were all gonan die someday.
we have exams this week
andi just dont care
i wish i did
i used to care and now im just like bah
i really want to go somewehre in my life but i dont really think a failed exam will do much to a 96% in chemistry. so i dont care. well i do
i just like to pretend i dont
yeah im retarded
I really like this blog thing. cuz if i didnt have this i would probabaly ramble on inside my head and everything i think and know will be lost..and lately ive noticed that i forget a lot of things that i used to remember..like who i saw where and new ppl i meet...i dont remember these things anymore. i think im going insane. or maybe i just need to ranble on like this more often so that i dont forget anything.
I think im over my head this time...it might be love. K is amazing...he makes me happier than ive ever been before. im just scared of comittment..but i need to get over that and this is the time. and im scared of gettin hurt but what can you do. thats life. but im gonna be complaing about it on here and ill write some sad poems so yah haaaa u better hope that doesnt happen to quick
anyways im gonna stop trying cuz im losing track of what im feeling cuz im talkin to J online and she makes me happy so thanks for reading if you did.
bye:)
posted by .M i k a l a h. at 10:50 PM
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