happy/mad/sad/jelous/annoyed/hurtAHHH
yeah so here I am! finally! I have so many mixed feelings going though my head right now and euuhhhhh i need to let it freeeee..I didnt really know how i was sopposed to say whats on my mind but i dont really care anymore so im just gonna type and type away and not care about any of the judgements i might get..but hardly anyone reads this anyways so im pretty much talking to myself.
first off...2nd semester is going pretty good. I love my art class. my old friend K is there and we are now talking about old times and laughing. it makes me feel a bit happier. although she probably says bad things about me behind my back...but i dont really care. i dont do it to her and i dont want to know what goes on behind the scenes with her..i dont need that on my mind.
me and K are becomming closer..i like him a lot. hes a really nice guy..but i dont know where i want to go with this relationship...i dont like hagning out with him at school. im a very weird person.. i have a big schedual with my day. i like to hang out with my girls at lunch..i dont need him following me to classes....although its cute and all and its a nice gesture..i dont really need it...lol..yeah but the dance is this friday and me and J are going to E's to get ready..and K is going to be there..so im prety sure if he doesnt mention it at the dance..im gonna ask him what were doing with this relationship and where were going with it bcuz i really dont know..
anways, the thing thats really getting me down cannot be put into words...ill try my best
your best friend invites you some where...you cant go, for reasons you cannot control bcuz its your parents fault..she inivtes her other friend...that has been competeing with you over your best friend. this person always wants to take your best friend away from you( not intentionally) and it makes you feel left out when they hang out. ive already posted about that before...
but anyways..so now this other friend is going to this place with your best friend and you feel left out bcuz you could have been the lucky one to share this experience with her but now you cant..bcuz of your fucking parents. this really makes me maaaad. my life is pretty much over bcuz..when they get back from where there going..they're gonna have pictures, memories, insiders..FOR LIFE..like this is a big deal, something they wont forget..and it could have been me that went..it could have been me..and its not. and i feel like im gonna lose my friend after they get back...i really have mixed emotions...i have a lot of anger in my system right now...im mad at my parents..i have a slight bit of anger towards "the other friend"..bcuz im jelous...im just jelous, thats all i can say. i dont really know exaclty why i have anger towards her. shes just so perfect...and she gets to be with my best friend........AHHHHHHH...it makeesss me mad. and at the same time im sad. bcuz i dont get to go..and im gonna lose my friend. what a life i have. a bunch of stupid little problems that no1 else would really care about. but i care. :(
and i want to be with K..and at the same time i dont. i like him out of school beter than in school...im so fucking unbalanced. i need to just crawl in a hole and die and never think again.
and now im leabing bcuz i dont want to think anymore
i analyse wayyy 2 much
-xox<3
"Did you lose yourself somewhere out there..did you get to be a star? Dont it make you sad to know that life, is more than who we are, we grew up way to fast and now theres nothing to believe, re-runs all become our history. A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio..And I wont tell no one your name"- Name by the Goo Goo Dolls
first off...2nd semester is going pretty good. I love my art class. my old friend K is there and we are now talking about old times and laughing. it makes me feel a bit happier. although she probably says bad things about me behind my back...but i dont really care. i dont do it to her and i dont want to know what goes on behind the scenes with her..i dont need that on my mind.
me and K are becomming closer..i like him a lot. hes a really nice guy..but i dont know where i want to go with this relationship...i dont like hagning out with him at school. im a very weird person.. i have a big schedual with my day. i like to hang out with my girls at lunch..i dont need him following me to classes....although its cute and all and its a nice gesture..i dont really need it...lol..yeah but the dance is this friday and me and J are going to E's to get ready..and K is going to be there..so im prety sure if he doesnt mention it at the dance..im gonna ask him what were doing with this relationship and where were going with it bcuz i really dont know..
anways, the thing thats really getting me down cannot be put into words...ill try my best
your best friend invites you some where...you cant go, for reasons you cannot control bcuz its your parents fault..she inivtes her other friend...that has been competeing with you over your best friend. this person always wants to take your best friend away from you( not intentionally) and it makes you feel left out when they hang out. ive already posted about that before...
but anyways..so now this other friend is going to this place with your best friend and you feel left out bcuz you could have been the lucky one to share this experience with her but now you cant..bcuz of your fucking parents. this really makes me maaaad. my life is pretty much over bcuz..when they get back from where there going..they're gonna have pictures, memories, insiders..FOR LIFE..like this is a big deal, something they wont forget..and it could have been me that went..it could have been me..and its not. and i feel like im gonna lose my friend after they get back...i really have mixed emotions...i have a lot of anger in my system right now...im mad at my parents..i have a slight bit of anger towards "the other friend"..bcuz im jelous...im just jelous, thats all i can say. i dont really know exaclty why i have anger towards her. shes just so perfect...and she gets to be with my best friend........AHHHHHHH...it makeesss me mad. and at the same time im sad. bcuz i dont get to go..and im gonna lose my friend. what a life i have. a bunch of stupid little problems that no1 else would really care about. but i care. :(
and i want to be with K..and at the same time i dont. i like him out of school beter than in school...im so fucking unbalanced. i need to just crawl in a hole and die and never think again.
and now im leabing bcuz i dont want to think anymore
i analyse wayyy 2 much
-xox<3
"Did you lose yourself somewhere out there..did you get to be a star? Dont it make you sad to know that life, is more than who we are, we grew up way to fast and now theres nothing to believe, re-runs all become our history. A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio..And I wont tell no one your name"- Name by the Goo Goo Dolls
posted by .M i k a l a h. at 6:47 PM
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