The Unknown..The Future..Paradise..terifying
Where did we come from? How did we get here? I often find myslef thinking about that. Is there really a heaven? Is heaven like they say it is. Is it a pradise where your day consists of riding white horses with wings and eating marshmellows all day long? Or is it more a place where your life is played on a plasma screen before your eyes and your informed of what you've done wrong, what you shouldnt of said or how many times you've hurt others. Im terrifed..Im terrified to find out.
I do believe in God. I believe everything that is said in the bible. Although I know hardly anything about whats in it. I dont go to church. I did as a child but now I guess were just too lazy. That sounds really bad when you say it. But its the truth. I used to go to Catons Island summer camp where they would teach us about God and what he does. I remember one year the famous quote was "God is a big kid!" I just loved going to camp. The music was amazing and I loved learning and singing about God. I really do believe. One year at camp I "gave myself to God". I dont really know the definition of that. But they said a prayer and anyone who repeted it after they said it was considered giving yourslef to god. So i did it. I was like 10. I thought it was something I had to do. But really..just saying a prayer..its not going to do anything. You have to build a relationship with God; Talk to him.(They taught us that at camp). But thats the part I never really did. I left camp at the end of the week and pretty much forgot all the stuff I said I was gonna go for now on when i got home. I forgot about talking to god and praying everynight. Thats the part I dont understand. As much as I believe..I dont understand how people can talk to God. How do they know what hes saying? I dont understand.
A girl i met at camp..Katie..her Msn names are always.. I Love Jesus..God is great..and all theese nice things about God. She has a relationship with him. She talks to him. I wish I knew what and how she does it. Does he really answer you..or is it just enough knowing hes listening.
I think that it comes down to believing in a higher power. Truly beliveing that there is someone above you. Im a true believer that everything happens for a reason. And God can see into the future and he knows whats best for you and he makes your life happen as it should. ( ive had a few traces of that happening in my life..a few things that at the time i was really upset about but then in the future..im really glad it happend.)
Another thing is past lives...I really think that people can have past lifetimes. and future lifetimes. I think i was a cat in my first life..i really do. Then after i died as a cat i was sent to be here for this lifetime. But after this...I dont know whats next..Will I go to heaven? Do I have to be rid of my sins to get into heaven? Whats waiting for me in my future? Does God have a plan for me? Is he really watching over me? I think the answers to life will be revealed when or if i get to "heaven" what ever heaven is.
Right now..im not enjoying life too much..so im thinking..is heaven better then where I am right now? Maybe heaven would be "hakuna matatta" with no worries. Or maybe someone in an unknown place is watching me and laughing right now because i think that heaven is wonderful. Maybe someone who knows is saying "oh that girl..shes gonna be in for a surprise when she finds out the truth" Maybe its LIFE that is the paradise..and your after-life is the hard part.I dont know. and frankly it confuses me.
I hate not knowing! I hate not knowing if there is any of life in space..maybe theres a planet with people that have yet to be discovered..What will the world be like in year 6000? Will there be war? Will people finally find peace? Will there be hover crafts and time warps?
I find it terrifying not knowing whats going to become of the world..and scarriest of all..whats going to become of me..who am i going to be? And where will I go when I die. Whenever that time comes.
I do believe in God. I believe everything that is said in the bible. Although I know hardly anything about whats in it. I dont go to church. I did as a child but now I guess were just too lazy. That sounds really bad when you say it. But its the truth. I used to go to Catons Island summer camp where they would teach us about God and what he does. I remember one year the famous quote was "God is a big kid!" I just loved going to camp. The music was amazing and I loved learning and singing about God. I really do believe. One year at camp I "gave myself to God". I dont really know the definition of that. But they said a prayer and anyone who repeted it after they said it was considered giving yourslef to god. So i did it. I was like 10. I thought it was something I had to do. But really..just saying a prayer..its not going to do anything. You have to build a relationship with God; Talk to him.(They taught us that at camp). But thats the part I never really did. I left camp at the end of the week and pretty much forgot all the stuff I said I was gonna go for now on when i got home. I forgot about talking to god and praying everynight. Thats the part I dont understand. As much as I believe..I dont understand how people can talk to God. How do they know what hes saying? I dont understand.
A girl i met at camp..Katie..her Msn names are always.. I Love Jesus..God is great..and all theese nice things about God. She has a relationship with him. She talks to him. I wish I knew what and how she does it. Does he really answer you..or is it just enough knowing hes listening.
I think that it comes down to believing in a higher power. Truly beliveing that there is someone above you. Im a true believer that everything happens for a reason. And God can see into the future and he knows whats best for you and he makes your life happen as it should. ( ive had a few traces of that happening in my life..a few things that at the time i was really upset about but then in the future..im really glad it happend.)
Another thing is past lives...I really think that people can have past lifetimes. and future lifetimes. I think i was a cat in my first life..i really do. Then after i died as a cat i was sent to be here for this lifetime. But after this...I dont know whats next..Will I go to heaven? Do I have to be rid of my sins to get into heaven? Whats waiting for me in my future? Does God have a plan for me? Is he really watching over me? I think the answers to life will be revealed when or if i get to "heaven" what ever heaven is.
Right now..im not enjoying life too much..so im thinking..is heaven better then where I am right now? Maybe heaven would be "hakuna matatta" with no worries. Or maybe someone in an unknown place is watching me and laughing right now because i think that heaven is wonderful. Maybe someone who knows is saying "oh that girl..shes gonna be in for a surprise when she finds out the truth" Maybe its LIFE that is the paradise..and your after-life is the hard part.I dont know. and frankly it confuses me.
I hate not knowing! I hate not knowing if there is any of life in space..maybe theres a planet with people that have yet to be discovered..What will the world be like in year 6000? Will there be war? Will people finally find peace? Will there be hover crafts and time warps?
I find it terrifying not knowing whats going to become of the world..and scarriest of all..whats going to become of me..who am i going to be? And where will I go when I die. Whenever that time comes.
posted by .M i k a l a h. at 3:34 AM
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