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I wanted to blog so I could remember my life when I grew up. It made me feel good to let everything out of my system..anything that bothered me or made me sad. I started out writing about my day but that became boring so then i started posting lyrics, poems and quotes. which kinda defeted the purpose of remembering my lifes events if i didnt write about them. I found that I couldnt write about my life anymore. I was afraid that someone would find out who I am. Just by reading what I wrote, they would know me. and judge me. I've read a lot of blogs that get trashed by people. its sick. and i dont want that to happen to me. Also, I started this blog when i was depressed and angry at the world. I'm not anymore, im accually quite happy. and i think my blog has helped me. My life has been going pretty good these days.
I hope this means im healed in some way..that i have freed myself and i dont need this anymore. My blog was like my security blanket and its time to throw it away.
So i guess this is goodbye..until i need a friend.
Ill be back someday. I just dont know when.

Its time for me to walk out of the Beautiful Madness...

-<3xox

and i knew that you meant it

Breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep,
this air is blessed,
you share with me.
This night is wild,
so calm and dull,
these hearts they race,
from self control.
Your legs are smooth,
as they graze mine,
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

The words are hushed lets not get busted;
just lay entwined here, undiscovered.
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
Man, that is so dumb.
Stay quiet, stay near,
stay close they can't hear...
so we can get some.

My hopes are so high
that your kiss might kill me.
So won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
My heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery,
which ever you prefer.

Hands down this is the best day
I can ever remember,
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair that you
twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when
we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked so I jumped it,
and I let you in.
And you stood at your door
with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it

Hands Down- Dashboard Confessional

The word

" A word can kill a soul. Steal a breath. Beat one down into nothingness. A word can lift. A word can liberate. A word can console. A word can heal and forgive and triumph over hatred. Words are the biggest things we have. They are all we have. "
-Jann Arden

I'm back and my heart sings a song

please help me,
i need you more than ever.
im addicted to you.
i want to breathe you in
and pour you into my soul.
you take away my pain
and heartache.
like a drug.
i want to live through you
and hide within you.
you are my protector,
you make me feel safe.
like a shield that can
never be penetrated.
you know my secrets,
i spill my heart for you.
you wont betray me.
you'll never tell.
you belong to me
and no one else.
i am dedicated to you,
as you are to me.
i will never leave you again.
i didnt forget about you.
i was being held back.
i needed to see you.
things are changing.
the future is mine to mold.
without you i am an empty space.